Self Care
Hey there :)
So funny story, it took me until the other day when I posted something about Self Care that I realized I have not actually written a blog on Self Care.
This is a bit unusual because I talk about it all the time - it is the tiny soap box I stand on and wave my hands around… and in typing that statement I just had an ah ha! moment after realizing that I just started my sound-healing-only-instagram after 15 years… so I suppose I am late on a few important things.
Better late than never!
*starts to judge self and then immediately soaks self in forgiveness and patience for beginning so late*
Phew! Anyways!
I’ve written blogs on Self Inquiry and Energetic Hygiene and other topics related to self care, but never solely on self care. So here we are! I hope you enjoy :)
Why is Self Care so important?
I’m glad you asked.
Gracious receiving gives dignity to the act of giving
Imagine being so excited to give someone a gift it feels like your ‘tail’ is wagging. Imagine feeling the difference between their two possible reactions: 1. “oh my god thank you so much I’ve been looking for one of these forever!!!” 2. “oh thanks.” What did your energy do when you read the first statement vs the second? Perhaps it felt like your heart opened on the first statement, or you felt energized or loved or even just smiled; and then perhaps your energy or heart may have drooped a bit on the second statement.
Now imagine them giving a gift to you and you receiving their gift with the same enthusiasm from statement 1. This is the best way to receive all gifts whether it be monetary, physically like a hug, or energetic like gratitude.
Why? You might ask.
Because:
Gracious receiving gives dignity to the act of giving
When we give and receive in equal measure our heart chakra becomes balanced. If you put your arms out to your sides in a ‘T’ shape you’ll notice the arms are in the ~ zone ~ of the Heart Chakra. The Heart Chakra has to do with the love, mercy, kindness and compassion we give and offer to others - but also the love, mercy, kindness and compassion we give to OURSELVES!
It is just as important to be nice to yourself as it is to other people. You are a worthy and deserving being! You’ve been through a lot and you’re trying your best!
Honestly it’s hard to remember this and I totally get it - one of the best phrases that was ever shared with me - credited to my dearly departed Tif - was “you parent yourself the way your parents did, when you are stressed out.” That statement whacked me in the head and landed hard in my heart: I’m a relatively easy going person… but in the past, when I was stressed, my brain chatter was constant judgement and inner critic.
Why am I talking all about this in a blog about Self Care? Well, when you think about Self Care, it’s about caring about yourself. If your parents weren’t super supportive then that is the tone of the inner voice you have in your head under stress. Gently trying to switch that inner critic to the inner coach is super beneficial. Constantly judging, nitpicking, comparing, putting yourself down probably hasn’t helped you in the past, so maybe it’s time to try a new way!
Self care covers a wide range of topics
Self Care can be being gentle to yourself. It can be reminding yourself not to beat yourself up over little things. It can be physical like drinking water or working out. It can be mental like writing a to-do list of silly tasks just so your brain gets dopamine once you check them off…
If you are an human in today’s society you’re probably a bit stressed. I invite you (mmmmaybe perhaps urge you) to put Self Care at the top of your daily to-do list. Between expectations of peers, colleagues and family; social media trying its best to harvest and monetize your attention (yuck!) and not-so-great-news being on the news all the time it’s important to stay aligned, grounded, true to yourself & healthy - whatever that means for you.
If you’ve found me for healing services then you might be considered a Highly Sensitive person / empath / light worker, and if so, it is paramount to our own healing journey to Self Care, especially if we are sharing our talents with others in a healing space. We can pick up energy from other people and we want to make sure we don’t continue to carry that energy around.
We live in a time we have to be connected at all times, we live in a time that we have talked and connected with more people this year alone than in the entire lives of people back then. How crazy to think about? I would wager a guess that we see / interact with more people in a month (in person and social media) than our ancestors saw in a lifetime?!
Because of this we desperately need to take care of ourselves.
So, what does Self Care look like?
In the past I have not had the best habits i.e. food and alcohol, and it was hard for me to get out of those habits - so one of the very first things that I taught myself to do was to marry a bad habit with a good one. Am I going to eat that bag of Doritos? Yes… AND! Now I have to eat an apple first. If you try to cut everything that’s unhealthy it miiiight not work, and this is because these unhealthy habits also moonlight as coping skills. Sometimes we do need a day to do nothing, so take it, you deserve it, and then the next day maybe you notice you’re 4x as productive! (Ps: these stories are all autobiographical ;)
It’s all about balance!
Self Care is so much fun because there’s so many options to chose from! Here are some ideas for you:
Self care ideas from my heart to yours
Physical
Workout - it’s no joke that working out helps stimulate happy neurotransmitters in your body to make your brain happier
Hydrate - drink water! This is one of the simplest things that makes the biggest difference.
Massage (or Acupuncture etc etc) - supports flow in the body. Movement = flow = health.
Cold plunge - creates more of a dopamine hit then cocaine!
Infrared Sauna - because it can penetrate the skin to help your cells detox
Hiking - my favorite activity
Nature - nature is my #1 self care to bring me back in alignment to myself
Fasting - intermittently, and every once and awhile 4-7 days because I love all the health benefits you get from it.
Sobriety - I’ve been sober for 10 months now and will write about this soon
Dancing! I love a good Kevin-Bacon-Footloose-Dance-Explosion!
Literally anything physical that makes you feel awesome… even sex!
Energetic
Set boundaries with parents / friends / whomever
Saying “no” without explaining yourself
Salt bath - salt has “green” energy according so certain color therapy modalities which is cleansing & dissolving
Energy / sound healing sessions of course ;)
“Cutting” cords - to bring back your energy from others
Manifesting / vision board to awake dreams into life / keep you on track with your goals
Do something new even if you scares you - I can’t stress this one enough. This is truly how I live my life and my life has been a grand adventure because of it.
Anything that makes your heart soar, you feel satisfaction & pride in yourself, anything that increases your mana ;)
Mental
Allow work to end when you punch out
Write down to-do list per day or week, check things off no matter how trivial they seem trains your brain to be proud of yourself (sometimes I make a list and check off: coffee walk, journal, set intentions)
Set phone hours like working hours - phone goes on airplane at 6p and off airplane at 6am
Read - anything: magazines, comic books, fiction, non fiction, just the act of focusing and reading and enjoying
Allow quiet time
Journal your intentions
Anything that helps you dive into something so deep you find the mind has accidentally quieted itself… even rabbit holes ;)
Spiritual
Carving time out of your day for yourself i.e. solo time
Meditate
Connect with nature
Start cultivating a true “You” practice, doing breathwork, learning about mindfulness, think of it like a gift to yourself
Anything that brings you back home to yourself, in alignment with your truth and your wild authenticity
Stay in touch!
I would love to hear how this blog helped, inspired or just re-aligned you back on your path toward Self Care!
Don’t hesitate to reach out, comment like or share <3
Why we need Vitamin Y (yoga)
(This was written about a week ago during our second last night in Siem Reap, Cambodia.)
It’s our last night in Siem Reap (again.) John has had a serious case of food poisoning that is still lingering. Tomorrow we are headed to Sen Monorom, Mondulkiri; a province to the east that borders Vietnam.
Today I did yoga for the first time in about a month and a half. Before I left for the trip I was too busy planning, organizing, packing, cleaning and moving, and now during the trip we’ve been busy sightseeing, walking, hiking, traveling, wandering and planning our next move.
John’s food poisoning (and inability to walk about) inspired me to get back to my center and find my roots, which plant best on a yoga mat. I went to the Ahimsa Academy in Siem Reap, which is a rooftop studio that overlooks all of Old Town, including Pub Street.
My yoga teacher, Thomas, has been practicing yoga for 40 years and took us through a semi stationary, semi vinyasa practice. My mind raced at first, louder than usual but I expected this due to the fact this was the first time I’ve practiced in a while. Eventually the yoga poses got harder and my mind got quieter as my ujjayi breath got louder. Presence in the posture leading to presence in my bodymind and eventually peace in my heart and soul.
Sometimes we fall off our yoga bandwagon and it’s easy to make excuses for why we can’t go (and then if you’re like me, you judge yourself constantly for not going), but eventually we (I) need to understand that everything is a cycle. Sometimes we cycle into yoga and sometimes we cycle out, the only thing that matters is that our yoga mat waiting for us without judgement (svadhyaya).
Yoga gently pulls us out of the madness of our mind and introduces us back into our body and the present moment. Practicing yoga is such a euphemism for practicing life. Yoga can be difficult, but then when we invite air into our lungs and patience in our heart, we find a little more space in our tight muscles and a little more stretch in our bodies. Life can be difficult too, and the same applies; we bend so we don’t break.
I am a recovering athlete. I played soccer all my life and then swam competitively in high school and then throughout college I began to run. All of these were distractions to get out of my mind, finding I had to do something to get rid of my ‘lesser’ emotions like anger. When I found yoga a few years later it brought me back into my body, helping me through emotions instead of getting tossed around by. You can’t think your way out of a yoga pose, but you feel your way through it.
I have scoliosis and my slightly-bent spine has always made it extremely difficult to even touch my toes; which has always a judgement toward myself. Through practicing patience through yoga I have been able to touch my toes and then some. That being said, I do still get caught up with how my practice should look. Being a yoga teacher, I feel like I should be able to do more poses and stretch in certain ways, and for now I need to understand that my spine is not ready for that. One of my favorite things that I’ve heard in yoga during the different stages of more difficult poses is “this is the pose, stay here until you feel stable.”
My first yoga practice was Bikram and due to the ‘athlete’ mindset I would pull and tug my body into the different postures; I thought how it looked aesthetically was the goal I was aiming for, but through slower practices I found that if I have patience and gratitude for where my body is, it will open in time; it needs my support instead of my judgeyness.
So thankfully amidst the madness, I’ve rediscovered my inner peace, located inside myself of course, but also on a 68’” by 24” magical ‘peace’ of plastic. And my daily practice of svadhyaya – self study & non judgment continues ☺✌🏻
